Post a new dispatch

Choose what you want to send.

Latest dispatches


Federal charges during spring break 1991


Beagle medication is fine
Good Morning, News junkies and happy Friday. Just listen to you guys discuss medication being tested on beagles while I'm opposed to the idea of testing. Any medication on beagles. I too have been taking a cream that's labeled as being tested on beagles. And I'll tell you my coats. Never been shinier. My teeth have never been cleaner. I can fetch with vigor. I'm basically a new man, I'm doing so much better now.

TACOS!!!
Hey jockeys. I was just catching up on some podcasts and you had talked about the story of the European, dude, that sued over the tacos or salsa or whatever it was. And you kind of mentioned, how you would couldn't believe that there were people that didn't eat tacos in their lives and I had listened to an interview with Katherine Tate, who played Nelly on the office. And the first time she ate tacos was actually filming that scene in the dog charity. Um, episode with Craig Robinson. Um, she said that tacos in Mexican food are not common over in Europe and that a lot of people have not even tried it, um, because it just never took off the way that Mexican food did here. Anyways, you have a great day.

Chuck Norris joke
so here's the first, Chuck Norris joke, I ever heard, you know what's inside, Chuck Norris's fist, Another fist.

Chuck Norris don’t talk about the news he is the news

The show after Sean’s retirement?
Hey news. Junkies uh this is my first ever talk back so I'm pretty excited about that. Um, real quick, I just wanted to ask if, if Sean doesn't renew his contract, um, is like the show going to change, is it still going to be a thing is sea lane or um, Sabrina gonna take over uh, is the name going to change or they just going to hire somebody? Like else to come in and take Sean's place and you know, maybe we can call it the new junkie or what what's the what's the plan with that? Wiggle wiggle and you know, pop a couple pops or something, I don't know.

Pregnancy parking
Hey junkies. I'm just saying if I have to use my short-term disability to take time off for my pregnancy and my newborn then, yes, I think that I should be able to use the handicapped parking, just saying

Clipped this awhile back, almost forgot about it.

This is Karl the dachshund, my best good buddy.